Last night’s Golden Globes were…weird. They were sad, they were awkward, they were kind of bleak and sinister, like a cocktail party gone on way too long, till everyone’s smiles are forced and dresses rumpled. The Social Network did well, winning four awards, as did Glee, which took home three. What really mattered, though, was not the awards themselves, but Ricky Gervais’ heroically churlish showing as host. Some high- and lowlights after the jump.
There were good times, and bad. Gervais’ opening monologue had a lot of both: If you are Charlie Sheen, John Travolta, or Tom Cruise, or really anyone physically present, it was bad, but if you were like us, it was awesome. Dude is fearless, and no asses were kissed. Gervais may be the only person in Hollywood with enough nerve to make a gay Scientology joke in front of a room of gay Scientologists.
Twitter freaked out for about an hour mid-show after Gervais mysteriously disappeared from the stage. Had he been fired? Had he simply wandered away? Had Robert Downey Jr. found him and sought justice? Most likely, he was backstage drinking and fielding angry phone calls from his publicist. He came back at around 10:45 subdued, except for his snipe at Tim Allen (who is still around??). Oh, to have been a fly on the wall in the green room after his opening monologue!
Other than Gervais, the speeches were a mixed bag. It seems like every year they get longer and less coherent. In five years we predict the show will just be people getting up on stage one by one and shouting gibberish till the next person knocks them down. The good ones were Jane Lynch’s (funny without sounding too planned) and Chris Colfer’s (of Glee). Robert De Niro’s could have been good if he’d shaved five minutes off of it, and Natalie Portman…well, that laugh, honey.
As for clothes: This blogger doesn’t specialize in fashion but Leighton Meester definitely won, dress-wise. Not a lot of people can rock long sleeves at an awards show where almost everyone else is in a glorified prom dress.
Coming in dead last was Michelle Williams, with a beige Valentino number with daisies on it. Beige and daisies should never, ever go together. Or apart.
For the large segment of us who only watch these things for the dresses, it was a mediocre showing. Thank goodness for old reliable Helena Bonham Carter, who sported mismatched shoes, crazy big hair, and three dresses combined into one.
What was different about these Golden Globes, and what made them worth watching to the end, was Ricky Gervais’ sublime assholery. His sendoff: “And thank you to God, for making me an atheist.” Pretty subversive for an awards show! Look, this isn’t the Oscars. And for that we should all be grateful.