Curbed has the new press release from Brokerage Eastern Consolidated boasting the $7.6 million sale of 347-349 Bowery, formerly a Salvation Army, to the Louzon Group of Paris. An empty three-story building will now become… dun dun dun… “a 72-room boutique hotel and restaurant.” Cue screams and grizzled (ex-)addicts falling over dead. Architect Gene Kaufman has the above vision, which may as well come emblazoned with rainbow “Fuck You!” or else a towering neon dollar sign. Neighborhood blogs are beside themselves, we’d imagine. But seriously, ew.