We’re going to keep this short, but it deserves a mention, because, well…just read. The New York Post reports that a 21-year-old man in Connecticut went to a party on Saturday where he, it seems, “was farting throughout the evening.” A woman at the party had had enough and slapped him. The alleged farter, named Marc Higgins, became so angry/humiliated/what the fuck was wrong with him? (it’s just gas!) that he went and got “a butcher knife, another knife, and a BB gun,” then stabbed one friend fatally, injuring three others. WTF. W.T.F.!? Don’t do this. Please. Everybody farts. If it happens at a party, politely excuse yourself, or simply blame it on someone else. That’s First Grade 101, dude.