Neighborhoods

Yuppie Parent Scourge Spreading to Williamsburg

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Every day we hear more about how Williamsburg is “over,” whatever that word actually means. But now it’s like seriously really “over” you guys, according to the 1000th installation in The New York Times Explores That Faraway Place, Brooklyn : it’s the next Park Slope. Germy kids and their hip parents who like to “go out in the neighborhood on a Friday night and feel sexy and single-ish” are moving to the neighborhood in droves, apparently, which is for some reason surprising? Have you seen Williamsburg lately?

Again,

“You can go out in the neighborhood on a Friday night and feel sexy and single-ish,” Ms. Liebman says with a laugh. “And then wake up next morning with the kid and take him to the farmers’ market and the play center.”

The Play. Center. Williamsburg is a good spot for these 30-40 something moneyed professionals because it’s cooler than Park Slope or Brooklyn Heights, I guess, but it’s also super safe and nice because actually it’s not really cooler than Park Slope or Brooklyn Heights. And apparently those are the only three neighborhoods that parents in New York even consider?

Hence:

“It felt really suburban to me,” said Ms. Kessner, 29, a jewelry designer and blogger. “Park Slope has puppets and guitar strumming for kids. In Williamsburg, it is like rock ‘n’ roll for kids.”

There’s something really beautiful about that quote; in a way, it sums up kind of everything you need to know about Fancy Brooklyn and the people who live there. Jewelry designer. Blogger. “Rock ‘n’ roll for kids.” Repeat these words over and over until they’ve locked you a padded cell where you can gibber safely, far away from the phalanxes of strollers soon to be grimly marching down Metropolitan.

The thing is, Williamsburg is still, despite these people’s best efforts, and despite the apparent rise in quality of its schools, not necessarily the best nabe in which to raise little kids. People go out there, they party and drink, and so on. People such as this blogger live in Williamsburg. How will the new residents of “Toddlertown” protect their spawn?

A little noise now and then is the price you have to pay, Mr. Moshan said. “That’s the neighborhood. It’s not Park Slope.”

Okay, it’s not Park Slope, as this gentleman smugly notes. But it will basically become Park Slope, and is currently becoming Park Slope, precisely because of the yuppie parents who are migrating, locust-like, to Bedford Avenue and its environs because they think it’s not Park Slope. They and their organic wooden toys and “mommy blogs” and winsomely named children cannot be stopped.

[Rosie Gray] [@_rosiegray]

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