News & Politics

R.I.P., Color-Coded Terror Attack Warnings


It’s pretty much official, even if officials are still speaking “on condition of anonymity”: Homeland Security will rid the nation of that coat of many colors we at Runnin’ Scared like to call the Terror Alert Layered Quadrilateral Almost-Rainbow. All those pretty reds, oranges, yellows, blues, and greens will be no longer (at least in reference to our nation’s security) by April 27.

Instead of letting yellow shine through the U.S. like a beacon of light declaring our elevated threat level status, Homeland Security has decided, after a year of review, that they’re just going to tell us about it. Which is good, because yellow simply made us think of SpongeBob, or a nice icy lemon granita, anyway.

Expect an official announcement on this tomorrow.


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