Horrible Things Parents Do, Part One


They compare you unfavorably to other people.

As in:

“That pie you brought today looks like a nice little treat. But you should have seen the cake cousin Ruthie brought last week!

“It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! So many layers and trimmings and textures and flavors!

“It was so delicious that everyone within miles was lining up for a slice!

“It could have fed an army–and basically, it did!

“I have no idea where she even got such an amazing cake, but I will never forget it. It was sheer perfection–and she said it only cost five dollars!

“Can you believe that? It was worth millions! No, you couldn’t even put a price on it, it was that astounding!

“Anyway, let’s try yours.”

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 28, 2011

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