News & Politics

New TSA Scans Not Sexy at All


TSA, the buzzkill of the century, has announced that those naked airport images that we were all getting so worked up about may not be around for long (you hear that? Get your nudey-scan fix while you still can!). Via the L.A. Times, instead the TSA is testing software that would allow scanners to see objects hidden under passengers’ clothing WITHOUT hinting at boobies or butts through the magic of digital imagery.

The image produced would be that of a generic, clip-arty, extremely flat-Stanley sort of person whose only bulges are of the strictly non-scintillating “hidden weapon” or “contraband” sort. Is this kind of person, with club hands and feet, missing a belly button, and a nose, even allowed on planes nowadays? And doesn’t he look like Gene Wilder?

The software would be installed on the scanners that are already in airports, so it sounds like radiation worries would remain the same, meaning that America still, at least, has something to complain about.

Thanks for nothing, TSA.



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