Evil Walmart Might Get Bumped By ShopRite, But We Have Better Plans

Walmart is still fighting to come to New York City, despite the fact that residents believe the store is run by a bunch of corporate soulless zombies who don’t support unions? Still!? They set up a website and everything! Gothamist is reporting that “ShopRite is also interested in the 100,000-square-foot property” in Brooklyn that Wallmart has its eye on. But there are plenty of stores that we need here in New York that are conspicuously missing. Runnin’ Scared has a few ideas that could fill that spot much better than either of those two corporate clowns:

• Wawa
• Publix
• Chick Fil A (the NYU one doesn’t count)
• The World’s First Franzia Wholesale Store
• A second Roll ‘N Roaster
• Circuit City
• In-N-Out Burger
• More Trader Joe’s
• The Willy Wonka Candy Factory (from the original movie)
• A reopened version of PopTarts World
• Wegmans (with Alec Baldwin inside!)
• Sonic

Take your pick! Our fingers are crossed for the Franzia Megastore, of course.