Howard Stern joined Twitter last week, probably at the behest of his manager or boss because his account is wholly uninspired. As the self-proclaimed “King of All Media” (seriously, it’s in his bio) and the recipient of a $500 million five-year contract with Sirius Radio — not to mention the enviable authority of a Verified Account — Stern should be a shoe-in for Twitter fame, considering the medium lends itself so well to raunchy jokes and dominating funnymen from Steve Martin to Kanye West and Conan O’Brien. Even Larry King can kind of pull it off. But Stern’s just sucks.
Stern’s radio show has the power to single-handedly create a trending topic or Google spike for a guest, but on his own, he keeps falling short. Since February 3, Stern has tweeted 66 times. Maybe he’s lost without his writers, or maybe they’ve put an intern in charge, but the man has yet to make a funny joke. Here are five of the flattest:
Desperate for followers, he even resorted to posting “unreleased” modeling shots of his wife Beth Ostrosky. Vintage Stern, to be sure, but sort of sad and needy on Twitter. When the best thing you’ve done is retweet a Dixie Chick, you’ve got nowhere to go but up.