An assistant bank manager in East Hills, Long Island has been charged with laundering money that reeked of weed. The Daily News reports that Natanzia St. Rose is accused of exchanging $50,000 in illicit funds through the JP Morgan Chase branch where she worked. The large amounts of cash were said to have smelled like “really good shit.” (Previous quote did not appear on criminal report.)
The manner in which the money was supposedly laundered is so simple, only someone who smoked $50,000 worth of weed could have thought it would work:
The pretty Queens woman told her supervisor that a representative of the nearby Bank of America branch needed hundred-dollar bills and asked if Chase would exchange them for $20 bills, according to authorities.
Her boss okayed the request, and St. Rose walked into the vault with $30,000 in $20 bills that reeked of marijuana, changing them for clean Benjamins, a complaint filed in Brooklyn Federal Court charges.
St. Rose might have gotten away with the switch if her diligent supervisor had not called her counterpart at the nearby Bank of America to verify the transaction.
“Diligent” supervisor, indeed. St. Rose was allowed to do this with $20,000 before, but it didn’t seem out of place. Probably because that cash didn’t smell like a Boulder, Colorado AMC during a screening of Piranha 3-D.
Cheer up, Natanzia, at least the Daily News called you “pretty.”