This year could mark the most dramatic rose Valentine’s Day gift-giving ceremony yet! Why? Because girl/boy/person, you are going to get the good stuff. And by good stuff, we mean the money stuff. A National Retail Federation survey has revealed that Americans will spend more cash on their lovahs this year than the previous two sad and desolate crap-gift years that we still haven’t gotten over. A total of $15.7 billion will be spent on cards, candy, fancy dinners, and teddy bears with balloons — or whatever it is you buy your special someone at an average cost of $116.21 per person (pay our cable bill?), which has increased 11 percent from the average spend last year.
Apparently a recession rebound, like a relationship rebound, means that true emotional connection and compatibility may be supplanted in part with things that can be purchased. But that’s cool, if it gets us the pricey champers at dinner. Kidding.
You crazy kids all in love and shit, go buy buy buy! It’s good for the economy, and getting yourself laid on February 14. Hell, year round.