New York

I Know Why Lindsay Stole


Lindsay Lohan‘s defense arguments in the matter of her allegedly stealing a necklace from a gem dealer are pretty lame.

“It was a loan,” her people swore. But then there would have been some signed agreement to that effect, wouldn’t there? Or at least an oral agreement?

“She already has lots of expensive jewelry,” they added. “Why would she steal more?”

Well, first of all, how do we know the jewelry she already has wasn’t stolen too, ba-dum-pum? And even if it wasn’t, rich people steal all the time. Just like rape isn’t about the sex but the power, thievery isn’t about the actual object, but about the rush of entitlement in taking it.

It’s about someone in the public eye who’s pretty entitled to begin with thanks to celebrity, but who feels that sense of power fading and desperately wants to grab it back via a quick, exhilarating gesture.

Winona Ryder, anyone?

Of course Lindsay is innocent until proven guilty.

I don’t want to steal anyone’s verdict.

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