The Five Most Boring Types of Commenters on a Blog


This isn’t aimed at you folks, mind you.

Just at people on other blogs who weigh in with unbearably cliched comments safe from the anonymity of their armchair.

(5) The “yawn” trolls. You know, the ones who comment “zzzzz” no matter what you write. They just love pissing on any subject because it doesn’t spark them to a life-changing inspiration. Do they ever offer anything better by way of a topic or idea? No! They’re a yawn.

(4) Similarly: The “Who cares about her?” troll. There’ll be some major celebrity that everyone on earth is talking about, but this person is always convinced they’re of no interest whatsoever!

(3) The ones who can only read the title. It’s too much to ask them to get through an actual 150-word paragraph. Recently, I wrote about Snooki’s book being next to Poe’s on a shelf. “They’re both horror writers,” I wrote. Chimed in a commenter, “They’re both horror writers.”

(2) But getting back to other blogs: The troll who thinks the height of wit is to call someone fat, ugly, old, or stupid. This type of person is always young, svelte, and gorgeous, I’m so sure.

(1) The nitpicker. You can write a long treatise on the history of cinema and they’ll chime in with something like “Amadeus was in 1984, not 1983.”

Everybody now: Yawn!!