Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding invite has arrived! Are you one of the lucky 1,900 to receive one? Are you this girl? If so, time to give up sweetie, it’s all over. Forthwith, an analysis of the Most Important Royal Wedding Invitation of Our Time.
Here it is!!!!
“The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by the Queen to invite…” — oh, the British. I can picture the Queen now, proclaiming to the Lord Chamberlain, “I command you to invite Rosie Gray to the Most Important Royal Wedding of Our Time.”
“His Royal Highness Prince William of Wales, K.G.” vs. “Miss Catherine Middleton.” Ouch. Kate, you’ll be a princess soon enough.
Westminster Abbey is hard to beat.
“Uniform, Morning Coat or Lounge Suit.” Not…a lot of options. Uniform, okay, that’s easy if you have one. You can usually get old army getups at the Salvation Army. Morning coats look like this — they’re those long tailcoat things. And lounge suits! I pictured a track suit although that isn’t right. Basically “lounge suit” is a stuffy British way of saying “suit.” If that’s what you lounge in, what do you wear to work?
What are women supposed to wear, also? That goes curiously unmentioned. Not all the ladies can show up rocking pantsuits.
The wedding is on Friday, April 29 at 11 a.m. For Americans on the East Coast, that means we’ll have to get up at the unfortunate hour of 6 a.m. to watch the wedding. Anything is worth it for the Most Important Royal Wedding of Our Time.
The invitation leaves us with more questions than answers. Kate’s dress! How will they cover up Wills’ thinning hair on television! Who gets an invite to the exclusive 600-person after-dinner at Buckingham Palace! Let’s stay blissfully hysterical about this wedding for months.