There is a really strange, only-in-New-York-type sentence in today’s New York Post and it conveniently includes sex, drugs and Katharine Hepburn, all in one place. Here, just read it: “A Manhattan park bench donated by the late actress’ heirs has become a recent hotbed for raunch and pot, with wanton women engaging in mid-afternoon sex acts as perverted men stare while smoking weed, according to residents.” Raunch, pot, wanton women, mid-afternoon sex acts, perverted men, weed! You may be wondering: what the hell? It only gets more odd.
“I was watching from across the street, and I couldn’t believe it,” said a witness. Three men were arrested for drug possession. (A photo of said bench features the headline “HEP-BURNED.”)
But then the article takes an unexpected turn! The Post:
News of the defiling comes as the park’s caretakers consider showing outdoor movies there.
But, because the NYPD does not issue “sound device” applications for after 8 p.m., Kazan says the group is exploring technologies that would allow films to be shown in daylight.
And then it just ends. What was that article about? What did we learn here? Is this a joke? Did the newspaper just need some filler? What would Katharine Hepburn do? Let’s not talk about this ever again, okay? Okay.