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Lindsay Lohan, I Have a Part for You


You can even shoot it in prison, since some of the scenes will be set there!

I want you to play 1950s starlet Barbara Payton, who unglamorously spiraled from fame to tawdriness, though at least she got a brilliantly frank memoir called I Am Not Ashamed out of it.

From the intro to the 1963 book:

“Barbara Payton slipped on the grease pole of her new profession, high-class prostitution, until she was concrete bottom — the street — and ended up selling her body for just $5 a trick.”

Earlier on, Payton was all hooked up with movie star Franchot Tone, who got jealously beaten to a pulp by her other man, B-actor Tom Neal.

Some time after Tone got out of the hospital, Payton hurled a telephone at him and tried to kill herself on sleeping pills. (I guess she was sort of Marilyn Monroe meets Russell Crowe.)

That’s all in the first few pages.

Wrote Payton in the book:

“I know I’m an old coot now — dragged out, wine-soaked, prey for men’s five dollar bills.

“I had a body that raised temperatures. Today I have three long knife wounds.

“But I look to the future. I have hope. I am not ashamed.”

I actually think this role would be cathartic for poor Lindsay! Someone please green-light the magic before James Franco gets the part!

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