Old People Eat Whatever They Want, Thank You Very Much


The silver lining on the enormous cumulus cloud of old age? Eating whatever the hell you want, regardless of whether or not a damn nutritionist says it’s good for you.

According to The New York Times, numerous senior citizens eat whatever they want, whenever they want, rejecting the bullying tactics of nutritionists and doctors who warn of the evils of cherry pie for breakfast and rare calf’s liver for, well, anything.

One 92-year-old Texas woman relays the pleasures of fried chicken, cream gravy, and biscuits, while another talks of scarfing caramel sauce, sprinkled with a little salt, in the privacy of her room. And then there’s the 70-year-old guy who went to a bat mitzvah and ate a lot of sour cream, just because he wanted to.

Times commenters seemed split between withering disapproval and fist-pumping support for the sinful seniors, and pointed out that living long enough to eat whatever you want is more a function of genetics than ignoring medical wisdom. Fair enough, but we’re inclined to side with the 95-year-old who extended glorious if figurative middle finger to the medical establishment, saying, “The main thing to understand about the people who have constantly warned me about what I eat is that I’m here and they’re not.”