Patrick Cassels wrote an impassioned plea to the city of Detroit in Slate, imploring them to seriously consider the plan to build a Robocop statue. He says that the public arts work is worthy, as it depicts “a character who represents triumph over this sad landscape.” We think it’s a good idea because it’s Robocop and he had a gun come out of his thigh. (And the dad from That 70’s Show was the bad guy, remember that? Or the weird claymation mechwarrior at the end? We gotta re-watch Robocop!) This got us thinking, what fictional characters deserve statues in their respective hometowns?
Philadelphia: Rocky IV
They already have a statue of Rocky, but all he did was lose to Apollo Creed. Rocky IV, on the other hand, defeated communism. Now that’s worthy of a statue!
Boston: Ally McBeal
Because Bostonians would want something cool like a character from The Departed or a Boondock Saint. It’d be funny to see them react to the unveiling of a Calista Flockhart statue.
New York: The Warriors
All of them.
Baltimore: Omar from The Wire
Just so people don’t send in emails complaining that we didn’t put Omar in (we would have preferred Avon, but whatever).
Las Vegas: Nic Cage
Because he starred in the two most contrasting Vegas movies ever: Leaving Las Vegas and Honeymoon in Vegas.
Seattle: Irene from Real World Seattle
Sure, she’s not fictional, but she raised so much awareness for Lyme disease that she deserves to be recognized by the Emerald City.
Minneapolis: Ted Baxter
Mary Tyler Moore’s Mary Richards already has a statue; why not construct one of Ted Baxter, the greatest journalist in American history?
The South: Relevant John Grisham character
Just throw one up in every town.
Chicago: Al Bundy
Because he scored four touchdowns in one game to clinch the city championship for Polk High, that’s why.
Sandusky: Thomas “Tommy” Callahan III
The engraving: “You can get a good look at a butcher’s ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn’t you rather to take his word for it?”
Get to work, statue makers, you’ve got a lot of immortalizing to do.
Detroit Needs Robocop [Slate]