Well, I was supposed to play your part, but I fucked up my chances — long story; let me not relive the horror — so I ended up with the supporting role of Bud Frump.
And I wasn’t that awful in it!
Did I mention that this was back in high school, not only before Harry Potter existed, but practically before Huckleberry Finn?
Anyway, I thought you all would get a kick out of my bio in the program, which just turned up in the garage along with the head of my first boyfriend.
I come off so multi-talented (a world-class viola player, for God’s sake) and so ambitious, too.
The program says I was planning to pursue a career in writing. I wonder what happened with that!