It’s a threat heard round the world: When you leave for 6 months to go to India, your roommates are so going to party in your room! (Okay, maybe this is not a threat heard round the world. Maybe most people would actually just sublet that room). But barring our suspension of disbelief — this is the Internet after all — here is a group of roommates who vowed to their departing roommate, “Rob,” that they’d party in his room, like, the whole entire time he was gone. And so they did. There’s video!
Fun idea in a pinch, maybe. But sadly, this 6-month party kind of blows. Okay, it majorly blows. Even watching the full 5 minutes of it is kind of difficult. Where’s the booze? The messy makeouts? The beer bong? The drug paraphernalia, the unwanted guests, the shoving, the razor blades, the part where it all devolves into an outtake from COPS? The best part is when two of the toilet paper mummies feign sex. Balloons, robots, dance routines, and toilet paper, is this what parties have come to? And that music. Jesus.
Next time, at least threaten to puke in your departing roommate’s bed or something.