Woman Who Kidnapped Kid After Being Slapped for Hot Pocket-Eating Will Go to Jail


There’s a sense of peace when something finally comes to its natural conclusion. Take the case of the teen who kidnapped her boyfriend’s toddler last month after the boyfriend slapped her because she ate his last Hot Pocket. (That’s a mouthful!) Aliyah Austin, 16, has pleaded guilty to kidnapping the girl. She will get 60 days in jail, three years probation, and will certainly never be asked to become a Hot Pockets spokesmodel.

The New York Post recaps the seamy tale:

Austin was shacking up with the girl’s 29-year-old father, whom she met on a Brooklyn subway days before the incident, and caring for his kid while he worked, authorities said.

When he returned home the night of Valentine’s Day after toiling long hours at a construction site, he was apparently infuriated to find Austin has inhaled his last, beloved Hot Pocket.

He woke her up and allegedly slapped her face.

Austin stewed, waiting until her guy to leave for work the next day, and when he did, she took his daughter to a friend’s place in Bed-Stuy. She then “taunted” him on Facebook and in texts. This is what you get for dating a younger woman, fellows. Technology!

Eventually, police tracked Austin down and found the child, who was returned to her father unharmed. Presumably, the couple is no longer together. In conclusion: A sad tale, really, if not for the Hot Pocket, which was eaten, so we guess that part is sad, too.

Woman admits she kidnapped child in Hot Pocket dispute [NYP]

Previously: There Are Many Reasons You Should Never Eat a Man’s Last Hot Pocket. This Is One.