USC ‘Roof Sex’ Perpetrator Suspended From His Fine, Upstanding Fraternity


Did you hear about the USC college students caught having sex on the rooftop of Waite Phillips Hall, a venerable university building? Someone stayed around to take photos (a lot of photos) amid all the shock and horror and how dare they?! On the roof of a building, in front of God and everyone?! But chastise no more because the young man doing these vile things has been punished. He has been suspended from his fraternity, Kappa Sigma, reports the Daily News, and the school might punish him, too, not least because access to rooftops is unauthorized. Which means, he is now the stuff of legend.

“While the actions that were taken did involve a member of our chapter we, in no way, support this kind of behavior,” Zach Timm, president of USC’s Kappa Sigma, said in a statement.

“The member in question has been suspended from Kappa Sigma for conduct unbecoming of a Kappa Sigma and a gentleman until a more detailed investigation can be conducted.”

Earlier this month, an upstanding young gentleman from Kappa Sigma sent a memo equating women to “targets,” and their vaginas to “pie.” These are metaphors, which are things men learn about in college. A selection from said memo:

I have come to write this memo to you today to educate on the only life worth living, that of a Cocksman. A Cocksman is taught to live by the two most applicable principles I know: The Pie and the Gullet. You may already be lost in trying to comprehend this logic. Do not worry this is completely understandable. By the end of this memo, you will not only gain a greater understanding of what it means to live, but you will have embraced a lifestyle. However, in order for this to happen you first must know a couple key terms.

Note: I will refer to females as “targets”. They aren’t actual people like us men. Consequently, giving them a certain name or distinction is pointless.

Kappa Sigma seems awesome!

As for the young lady, well, she didn’t even go to USC, but we’re sure someone is yelling at her to keep her pants on somewhere. Anyway, this would never, ever happen in New York City, mostly because the weather is too damn cold. Will winter never end? Naked on a rooftop, brrrrr!

USC Sex Photo Scandal Erupts After Kappa Sigma Member Captured Having Sex on Campus Building Rooftop (Photos) [LA Weekly]
Kappa Sigma suspends University of Southern California student over sex photos on campus roof [NYDN]