This is an exclusive, folks.
The people that control the Academy Awards have decided that next year they will give a special Oscar to Madonna!
For her screen work!
A memo that was just leaked to me cites Madonna’s “brash charm and deft, chameleon-like skill, as evidenced by her performances in such diverse films as Who’s That Girl?, Body of Evidence, Dangerous Game, The Next Best Thing, and Swept Away.
“Despite her critics — and she will always have some — Madonna has clearly elevated the art of screen acting thanks to her deep-seated talent and consistently exciting choices.
“Whether in screwball comedies, courtroom potboilers, or flashy musicals, Madonna has always been a beacon of both spontaneity and profundity, leaving her indelible mark on the medium for all time.
“As a result of her continuing achievement, she will be rewarded next February.”
Just kidding. April Fool’s!