Charlie Sheen Wants to Trademark the Crap He Says


There are certain words that existed way before Charlie Sheen ever thought to say them, but when he finally strung them together in his particular fashion, they came alive! Thus, he would like to own them, or at least, copyright them. According to the actor’s rep Larry Solters, Sheen is trying to trademark 22 of his favorite ranty phrases.

So that you never use them, here are a selection:

“Vatican Assassin”
“Tiger Blood”
“Rock Star From Mars”
“I’m Not Bi-Polar, I’m Bi-Winning”
“Duh, Winning”
“Violent Torpedo of Truth”
“Defeat is Not an Option”
“Sober Valley Lodge”
“Sheen’s Goddesses”
“Adonis DNA”
“Vatican Assassin”

This means that you should probably not put any of these words on a shirt and attempt to sell it, or, frankly, even just wear it around the house. But you probably knew that already.

If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll see these linguistic gems some day on everyday items like cell phones, wallets, purses, stickers, pens, pencils, booze, and even pet foods. If you’re really lucky, you won’t.

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 6, 2011

Archive Highlights