My Five Favorite Guilty Pleasure Foods


The following edible treats might not be all that good for you, but at least you’ll die happy.

My faves in ascending order of guilty pleasurableness are:

(5) Cold noodles with sesame sauce

It’s more of a paste than a sauce, and between the starchy noodles and the pasty sauce, you might as well just puncture a hole in your stomach and lacquer it on with a paint brush, but who cares if your insides look spackled? It’s so damned delicious!

(4) A sundae at Serendipity

Any sundae at Serendipity. It is so East Side, creamy, nutty good! I feel extra guilty sitting there eating it because people are waiting for my table so they can sit there and eat it.

(3) Crab cakes drenched in tartar sauce

Certain death has rarely been this delectable. And crab cakes go with absolutely anything — especially each other!

(2) A wedge of iceberg covered in blue cheese dressing, followed by a big, old steak on the bone, dripping in A1 sauce

It’s an all-American life threatener of the highest order. I have it only on special occasions–like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…

And the guiltiest pleasure of all is…

(1) A Dutch apple Dunkin’ donut

No, I’m lying. Two of them! In any flavor whatsoever! They’re guiltily orgasmic. They should be in a police lineup. They’re cheap and amazing, no matter how many pretenders come and go! Give me Dunkin’ Donuts AND give me death!

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 6, 2011

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