In cases of being stuck to something, it is far better to be glued than to be fused. Or so it would seem. But if you’re in a discount superstore on or around April Fool’s Day, your best bet is to use the bathroom at home, lest you end up like the 48-year-old Maryland man who became stuck to the toilet seat at the Elkton Wal-Mart on March 31. Via CNN, he screamed for help “when he tried — and failed — to stand up and leave the superstore’s restroom.” And then the mortification truly began.
It took responders 15 minutes to remove the victim from the stall, but they were unable to disconnect the toilet seat from his body, [Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department] said.
Instead, the victim was taken to Union Hospital of Cecil County, where the seat was detached. He left with only minor injuries to his buttocks, Donnelly said.
That’s a shopping trip you don’t forget!
Cops think this is a random April Fool’s prank, but the perpetrator could face second-degree assault charges. Take a cue from us: Always check the seat first. Or don’t sit at all.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 7, 2011