Hiram Monserrate, Girlfriend-Slashing State Senator, Now Works at a Pizza Place


The New York Post reports exclusively this Monday morning that the disgraced former state senator Hiram Monserrate, who was accused of beating, dragging and slashing his girlfriend with broken glass, has resurfaced at Papaya Pizza, where he often works the counter. The Post is sure to note that the girlfriend, who says she was slashed by accident (but can be seen on surveillance video being dragged by her hair), “has not been spotted at the store.” But Monserrate wouldn’t say if he owns the “Latin-themed pizzeria, which also sells flan and 99-cent hot dogs.” Either way, it sounds lucrative. And it smells worth boycotting!

The tabloid tracked the business registration to Monserrate’s mother’s house in Queens, corroborating an employee’s account of the former politician as “the boss.” The place has an “A” rating, at least, from the Health Department, which doesn’t quite make up for the $300,000 he is accused of siphoning from a Queens nonprofit, never mind the abuse charges.

Monserrate provided a statement to the Post: “”I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to serve again. I am currently consulting and assisting in the management of Papaya Pizza.”

And finally, “For dessert I recommend the coconut flan.” Haha, fuck you.


Previously: Hiram Monserrate’s Cheating Ways