Kobe Bryant Fined for Gay Slur! I Know Which Epithets Are Next!


So leggy Laker Kobe Bryant has been slapped with a whopping $100,000 fine for calling a referee a “fucking fa**ot”!

This will change everything.

From now on, athletes are going to be mighty wary of letting their prejudices show as they dribble on the court and get into squabbles.

Suddenly they’ve been dealt the message that any moronically hateful slip of the tongue and it’ll cost you big-time, honey.

As a result, their screaming matches will be way more delicate in nature.

We’ll surely be hearing such non-heated epithets as:

“You take it up the ass…perger complex.”

“Look, you dirty ni….ncompoop. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

“You fucking cocksuck…I mean coxswain. Yeah, I was gonna say coxswain. It’s in Gilbert and Sullivan. Look it up.”

And the most non-heated of all:

“Why, you lowdown, filthy British name for a cigarette! [Awkward pause.]

“Which I’m sure is ‘cigarette’, just like here.”

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 14, 2011

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