You’ve really stepped in it now, pal. The government gave you three whole days extra to file your taxes, but you were too busy eating Hot Pockets and playing Xbox to notice. Now most post offices are closed and you’re frantically trying to figure out whether or not that upside-down tomato garden you bought counts as a business expense (you do make BLTs at home a lot and bring them to work). Don’t panic; we’re here to help!
File an extension
If you file a postponement, you will have until October 15th. Phew! Just submit Form 4868 electronically or via the mail as long as it’s postmarked by April 18th. What day is it? April 18th? DAMN IT!
Chill out and pay the IRS interest rates for being a chill dude/dudette
If you fail to file on time, the IRS will charge you an extra 5% of any due tax each month. Filing but not paying will add a 0.5% increase of the total you owe each month. And it’s calendar months, so once May 1st hits, you owe the total for May.
You’ll get caught and possibly go to jail, but it’s only fair that we present you with all your options.
Rush and file it all now
You have until midnight, so you can e-file in your underwear while watching the NBA playoffs tonight, or find a post office that is staying open late.
Death and Taxes
That’s a well-known saying, right? “Something something death and taxes?” We’re not entirely familiar, but it may be a key to helping you with your situation. Hey, don’t look at us, we filed on time.
Sit and watch repeated showings of Atlas Shrugged until you get kicked out of the movie theater or our government abruptly acknowledges objectivism as the true path and forgoes taxation in favor of the power of the individual, whichever comes first
Time’s up! It’s tax deadline day [Yahoo!]
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 18, 2011