We spent Record Store Day choking and punching out mouth-breathing, acne-flecked nerdlingers, hoping to secure a copy of that Big Star test pressing. While squeezing the very life from a particularly frankfurtery collector’s neck we noticed a rock critic or two peeking from the vinyl stacks, ready to walk home with some limited-edition goods of their own. One release that particularly impressed us was the reissue of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours, a $34.99 double LP that was superior to the tens of millions of clean, unopened 1977-era pressings currently clogging dollar bins like bedbugs clog your date’s apartment. Since this thing is in such high dork demand, we thought we’d ask 15 music critics:
How many of the 11 songs on Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours can you name?
This should be as easy as snorting a piece of cake, right? These songs have been plaguing rock radio for decades–so ubiquitous that the Glee kids are gonna do a whole episode dedicated to it. And if 17-year-old kids are gonna be more up on classic rock than us, we might as well just quit.
We once again cobbled a consortium of 15 professional and semi-professional rock critics, all given the usual rules:
1. I will not identify you AT ALL, so it is OK to be wrong. [We will say that our esteemed panel edits magazines, websites, and alt-weeklies. They have written for pretty much every outlet you’ve ever heard of, from Rolling Stone, Spin, and Billboard to Twitter.]
2. You can’t use Google.
Don’t stop! The correct answer and results below!
The correct answer: “Second Hand News,” “Dreams,” “Never Going Back Again,” “Don’t Stop,” “Go Your Own Way,” “Songbird,” “The Chain,” “You Make Loving Fun,” “I Don’t Want To Know,” “Oh Daddy,” “Gold Dust Woman”
Out of 15 polled:
Critics who knew ten out of 11 songs: 2
Critics who knew eight or nine songs: 3
Critics who knew between four and six: 6
Critics who knew three or less: 4
Most correctly answered song: “Don’t Stop” (guessed by 14)
Least correctly answered song: “I Don’t Want To Know” (guessed by one)
Songs from their previous album, 1975’s Fleetwood Mac, guessed incorrectly: “Rhiannon” (2), “Landslide” (2), “Monday Morning,” “Crystal”
Other incorrect answers: “Sara,” “the first song–BAEW BAEW BAEW BAEW BAEW”
Critics who made a point to mention they knew Tusk better: 2
Reasons people knew all this stuff: Mom and dad played it a lot; grew up in the suburbs; wife’s favorite album when he’s “manning the wheels of steel”; girlfriend made him listen to it after first date; brother played it a lot when he came out of the closet
Critics who tried to name all the songs on REO Speedwagon’s High Infidelity: 1
Critics who pointed out that Lindsey Buckingham used to have a studio he worked in that was entirely lined with tiles, like a really big bathroom, only no shitting. UNLESS IT WAS SHITTING PURE GOLD”: 1
So yeah, this is probably the least embarrassing showing our hapless critics have had since we asked about Sleater-Kinney, which proves we’re at least as smart as the bands on Legacy: A Tribute to Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours–take that, Sister Hazel! But it still seems like we’re a little forgetful when it comes to “I Don’t Want To Know,” one of the more upbeat and pop-friendly songs on the record, which makes more than liberal use of a 12 string guitar. Cuddle up to this YouTube and learn about the song the Goo Goo Dolls seemed fit enough to cover.