According to science, and the Daily News, there are men walking around out there thinking they have “short penis syndrome” who actually have “perfectly average-sized genitalia.” (Sort of like the skinny girl who’s always asking if her butt looks big in those jeans?) With dysmorphia caused by watching too much insecurity-inducing porn or hearing masculinity equated with johnson-size one too many times, or who knows what, maybe not enough hugs in childhood, these SPS sufferers are turning to “pills, pumps and procedures that are as likely to disappoint as they are to cause harm.” The Mayo Clinic has advised men to think twice before attempting such faux-solutions.
Because, as we ladies know, “pills, pumps and procedures” are just America’s way of making you feel bad while smiling and taking your money.
What is normal? Good thing you asked.
While there are variations, many sources say the average penis measures between 3 and 4 inches (7.6 to 10.2 centimeters) when flaccid and between 5 and 7 inches (12.7 to 17.8) centimeters when erect.
The Daily News kindly suggests DIY remedies like “working on your abs,” “trimming,” and finally, talking to a therapist if you feel you suffer short penis syndrome. Remember also, in terms of fertility, it’s the taint that has the last word, and the last word should never be “short penis syndrome,” unless you’re trying to end a date post-haste.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 25, 2011