News & Politics

Man in Cow Costume Steals 26 Gallons of Milk From Walmart, Because He Can


An 18-year-old man dressed in a cow costume stole 26 gallons of milk from a Virginia Walmart Tuesday night. Why? Why not? The man was not taking his task as some sort of joke, either, and in fact, “was apparently crawling while he exited the store, trying to emulate cattle,” according to Stafford County Sheriff’s spokesman Bill Kennedy. There’s even a sort of Robin Hood twist in this tale, which ends with the man handing out the stolen milk jugs to passers-by, then “skipping down the sidewalk” in his cow suit.

Well, it doesn’t exactly “end” there. Afterward, a man who seemed to match the description of the milk thief was seen in a local McDonald’s, but he was not in a cow suit. Fortunately, Walmart management was able to confirm that it was indeed the milk thief, and later, a cow suit was found in his car, implicating him pretty much completely.

Mysteries remain, however.

For one,

It was unclear Wednesday how he managed to get all of that milk out of the busy store on Garrisonville Road.

And, two,

Why should you buy the milk when the cow is handing it out outside of Walmart for free?

In any case, this makes New York’s own turkey-pants criminal seem pretty sophomoric.

Stafford investigates udderly shocking shoplifting []

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 28, 2011

Archive Highlights