Researchers have discovered that Armadillos in the country’s southern states carry the bacteria that cause leprosy. The Independent reports that “the nine-banded armadillo is one of the few indigenous mammals that harbour the bacteria that cause the often-disfiguring disease.” This news breaking on the same day of the royal wedding has not gone unnoticed, and now a world that was enchanted by their nuptials just 12 hours ago fear for William and Kate’s health and safety, lest they are besieged by a pack of leprotic armadillos.
It is unknown whether or not the newlyweds’ honeymoon will take them through Arkansas, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi or Texas, but those states all contain the species of armadillo known to carry leprosy. Should William or Kate (or God forbid both of them) handle the shelled animal or eat its meat, the following may happen:
If the young couple — whose magical wedding is perhaps only the preamble to a leprosy-plagued marriage — fail to receive treatment, permanent cosmetic deformations and nerve damage are shocking possibilities.
God save the once and future King and his beautiful, healthy-complexioned bride.
Armadillos linked to Louisiana leprosy [Independent]
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on April 29, 2011