Walmart to Start Selling Guns Again


Had enough of the Royal Wedding? Cool, so have we. Now we can move onto bigger and brighter things, like guns. Walmart has announced they will resume selling guns at half of its stores across the nation in an effort to restore so-called “Heritage” items to their shelves. “Heritage” as in fishing rods. “Heritage” as in sewing fabric. “Heritage” as in firearms that will be sold mostly in rural areas, causing a possible influx of rednecks to swarm the country with weaponry. Or so it goes in our nightmares…

The American mega-store originally pulled guns from their shelves in 2006, as part of a pact with Mayors Against Illegal Guns (co-founded by Mayor Bloomberg), but after federally tracked gun sales skyrocketed 12.7% in the first quarter of this year, they decided otherwise.

“We made a business decision to sell them in certain stores because we have realized the appeal was perhaps broader than we thought… But we are committed to doing it as responsibly as possible, as always, in compliance with all applicable local, state and federal laws,” spokesman David Tovar told the Wall Street Journal.