The Five Worst Kinds Of Party People


Clubs and parties are explicitly about fun, fun, fun — until you get stuck with the loser of all time who gloms on to you, making you wish you’d stayed home with your pet colonoscope.

The worst partygoers are:

5. The compulsive namedropper.

They just did the hair of someone who was in Lincoln Lawyer, who happens to have the same accountant as someone on Gossip Girl, who used to date someone who was in the audience for Jerry Springer.

With every namedrop, this person is essentially screaming “I’m pathetic!”!

4. The type who scans the room while they talk to you, hoping for someone better.

Since I’m usually doing the same, there’s precious little eye contact going on in these alleged conversations.

3. A drunk/cokie who keeps repeating everything they say and can’t absorb one word anyone else says.

Unless it’s “Want more coke?”

2. The promoter who finally got you to go to their party and is now pleading with you to go to their next party.

Oy. Don’t push it, hon.

And finally …

1. The brain-dead conversationalist.

You know, the type who thinks the height of wit is to say stuff like:

“What’s new?” “What’s exciting?” “Got some gossip?” “Having fun?”

Answer: No!!!!!