The Five Best Things To Say To A Beggar


We’ve all been in that awkward situation.

Someone desperate approaches us on the street for cash, coins, anything of value.

And our first instinct, bizarrely enough, is to evade, deny, and deprive.

So here are the best ways to do that so you at least come off a little slick in your cruelty.

5. “Sorry, I need it for laundry!”

4. “I was just gonna ask you the same question!”

3. “I just lost my life’s fortune on the market, so while I may look like I have money to burn seeing as I’m still wearing my old clothes from when I was affluent, I’m so sorry that I can’t even spare a quarter. Let me tell you the whole story starting at the beginning …”

2. “I just gave all my cash and even some jewelry to the last beggar! You should have swung by a few minutes ago.”

And the biggie …

1. “Sure, here you go. Here’s three dollars.”

Yeah, what the fuck, let’s try that one sometime.

You first.