The Rapture on Craigslist Is Pretty Much What You’d Expect: Money, Rabbits, Sex


Interestingly, or perhaps obviously, all of the “Rapture” ads currently posted on Craigslist (at least in the New York area) seem to be from people wanting items rather than people wanting to give them away. We all seem to think we’ll be left behind, and we want DVD players, cars, canned goods, money, whatever we can get. What does that say about Craigslist users? Discuss amongst yourselves, I need to post an ad.

Then there’s this very thorough poster.

the rapture! (pequannock)
Date: 2011-05-18, 7:41AM EDT
The rapture is coming on Saturday, right? Well what about all of those possessions you’ve accumulated in the past? Surely you wouldn’t want them to sit and gather dust as you ascend to meet your maker?

You’re in luck!

I’ve spent the last 23 years sinning. Got a sin? Chances are I’ve done it! Come Saturday, May 21st, I’ll be sitting down here on earth.
What does this mean for you? This means that I’ll be here to protect all the things you own until October when the world goes ka-boom.
Will drive anywhere at anytime to pick up the things you’ll be leaving behind, including:
a) Video game systems (no Wii, that shits boring)
b) Piles of cash ($10’s and $20’s, I drive a small car and really don’t have the space for all the singles, and especially not for the piles of pennies you old folks are gonna try to give me)
c) Any collection of porn (prefer blu-ray, I wanna see the details!) to continue the sinning, just in case this happens again, I don’t want to be responsible for your possessions and then leave them un-attended because I didn’t sin to the best of my abilites.
d) Titles to: Cars, Houses, Boats, Ride-on lawnmowers, the rights to your children (18+ please, I can’t afford child support, unless you leave me a nice chunk of money (see bullet point B)
e) Pets: Dogs & Rabbits (mostly so I can eat the rabbits though)

Any object you want to let me have that isn’t listed? E-mail me and we’ll discuss it.
Happy Rapturing!

As for the personals, everybody just wants some Rapture nookie. Sinners.

The World Ends on the 21st, so… – m4w – 32 (Midtown East)
Date: 2011-05-19, 4:01AM EDT
… Why don’t we spend the last hours on Earth doing dirty, filthy things. You: clean and preferably able to host in NYC. Me: clean, safe, good looking white guy (with a beer belly.)

I’m not overly picky, but a picture in your email would be nice then I’ll send mine.

Put “rapture” in the subject line so I know you are not a robot.

P.S. This forward-thinker is already selling “I Survived the Rapture” T-shirts. Think of it as an…investment?