East River Monster Is a Seven-Foot Sturgeon


It’s that time of the year, when something gross washes up in the polluted waters of New York City and no one really knows what to call it, so we collectively dub it a “monster.” This time, it’s actually an Atlantic sturgeon, measuring “six- to seven-feet long and about two feet wide,” as reported by NY1, which was found on the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge over the weekend. “People who gathered around the sturgeon near Pier 17 did not know what to make of it,” apparently. It looks prehistoric, but also disgusting. And it was “super, super heavy,” which makes us think…alien.

NY1 has video of the thing’s corpse, and if this were a movie, the thing would surge to life and eat the cameraman. Alas, it looks pretty dead and (allegedly) did not come from outer space. (Scientists reporter 9,500 Atlantic sturgeons in the Hudson River in 1995.)