Quality Cakes Return to Quality Meats, Auguring Dietary Apocalypse


Since we’ve always been proponents of the concept of ice cream as a meal replacement, we’re more than happy to report that Quality Meats has brought back the ice cream cakes we last summer dubbed “the dessert equivalent of having sex with someone in an alley behind a bar — a guilty, roll-in-the-gutter, dirty pleasure.”

The restaurant uses slightly different parlance: Pastry chef Cory Colton’s “unique individual sized ice cream cakes” are now available through the end of September at the Quality Cakes counter, which is located next to Quality Meats’ front door. “Individual sized,” it should be noted, is accurate if you happen to be a bear emerging from hibernation.

The cakes come in four varieties: The Monster Mash comprises peanut butter cake, “Cookie Monster” ice cream, and caramel icing; Chocolate Covered Grasshopper is chocolate fudge cake, mint Oreo chunk ice cream, and chocolate mousse icing; Strawberry Shortcake combines poppy angel food cake, strawberries and cream ice cream, and yuzu-yogurt icing; and Toasted Banana S’more is an awe-inspiring combination of graham cracker chocolate chunk cake, banana chip ice cream, and toasted marshmallow icing.

All are $8, and if that seems a bit exorbitant, consider that you are getting what is basically two desserts and won’t need further sustenance for the next 36 hours or so. You may need a cigarette to accompany the afterglow, though.