Trader Joe’s Vegan Pad Thai Incites Matronly Violence


Given that the mere concept of frozen vegan pad Thai has inspired many people to contemplate grievous bodily harm, it should come as little surprise that actual frozen vegan pad Thai instigated real-life mom-on-mom violence, in Trader Joe’s, of all places.

The Post reports that one woman, a grade-school teacher, slapped the other, a doctor, after the doctor’s son got in the way — seemingly on purpose! — of the teacher’s husband as he attempted to grab the aforementioned pad Thai from its display case. Words were exchanged between the women, followed by the alleged assault. The doctor is claiming that she suffered “redness, swelling and substantial pain,” the teacher is claiming that the doctor “needed slapping,” and we’re claiming utter incredulity over the whole sorry episode.

And ladies, please: If you’re going to fight at Trader Joe’s, at least do it over something more dignified, like the Peppermint Jo-Jos or edamame hummus. That shit’s worth a black eye or two.

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