I mean, oh, honestly:
Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine of NBC’s talent show “The Voice” are putting their voices together on a new Maroon 5 single. Aguilera is featured with Levine and his band on the tune “Moves Like Jagger,” which will be released next week on iTunes.
“Moves Like Jagger”? You mean, like in the video for his embarrassing version of “Dancing With The Streets”? (SOUTH AMERRRRRICAAAAAA!!!)
The Aguilera/Maroon 5 duet might be less notable if it weren’t the third example of a pop star riding the skinny back of the Rolling Stones frontman to dubious lyrical achievement. (At least former X Factor contestant Cher Lloyd’s squawky “Swagger Jagger,” which leaked this AM, is merely mangling the pronunciation of “jacker.”)
Of course the lazy rhyme with “Jagger” is “swagger,” a word that has become so overused in the past year you’d think that there was some weird secret movement afoot to turn the entirety of this country into some sort of Wild West park where everyone was one heel-spin away from engaging in quick-draw duels with one another. And the canonization of Mick himself likely stems from some jealousy that Jagger lived in not only the pre-downloading era, but also the time where, if people with cameras were around to film whatever hijinks you were getting up to while offstage, it would take at least a little while for it to circulate widely. But now that both the Peas and two judges of The Voice have jumped on the Jagger-namecheck trend, it’s time to find another classic rocker whose public image can be flogged in pop lyrics. Surely something fun rhymes with “Ringo”?