The Five Gayest Songs Ever Written


Happy Pride month!

To celebrate, let’s name the five gayest songs ever written — chosen because the LGBTS love ’em, not necessarily because they have specifically gay content in them:

5. “The Man That Got Away,” sung by Judy Garland

When it was used by no fewer than two acts in the recent Howl festival, I knew: The gays simply adore this torchy wail about a good-for-nothing man dog.

Gays dig the pain.

4. “Constant Craving,” k.d. lang

Any lesbian worth her potpourri knew exactly what k.d. was craving when this song came out. It’s sapph-tastic.

3. “Don’t Rain on My Parade,” Barbra Streisand

Not only is it from the ultimate gay musical, Funny Girl (which has both high camp and pain over man dogs), but it’s done by a big gay icon, and it has to do with an unstoppable parade. How gay can you get?

2. “Vogue,” Madonna

“Bette Davis and Monroe/Dietrich and DiMaggio” wouldn’t have liked it because they were straight. (Well, maybe Dietrich would have liked it.) It plumbed the LGBT voguing scene while dressing it up with high-fashion imagery, making for Madonna’s gayest hit.

1. “Y.M.C.A.,” the Village People

From the beginning, straights embraced it like crazy without even realizing, but that just shows what a crafty gay anthem this always was. Anyone who felt the song’s “young man” was going there just to hang out fully deserved the aftermath of the ’70s.