The East Village has a new villain dubbed “The Doorshitter.” Today EV Grieve posted an email they received from a St. Marks Place resident named Jordy who has a little problem: a homeless man has been pooping on his door for the past six weeks. Jordy told the neighborhood blog that he has started a campaign to “shame” the man. The shame game includes posting flyers that feature a profile picture of the defecator and say, “STOP HIM/ THIS MAN/ SHITS IN DOORWAYS.”
We went out to the site of the crime, St. Marks between 2nd and 3rd Avenues, today to see the the images for ourselves. While we were snapping a photo we were approached by a person who identified as “Natalie Kobrapuke” — yes, with a “k” — and claimed to have seen the same man pooping (well, to be specific, it was allegedly diarrhea) around 6th Street and Second Avenue today.
“We made a big deal of it and he ran,” Kobrapuke said.
That is Jordy’s plan of action, too. This is his plot as relayed to EV Grieve:
• I have a photo of this man. I’ve met with all the shop owners on St. Marks between 2nd and 3rd. Everybody has an issue with him. When he’s spotted … they will point and scream, “DOORSHITTER, STAY OFF OUR BLOCK”.
• I don’t want to hurt this man; I do want to freak him out so he’s scared to come back. Yesterday I had an encounter with The Mad Crapper. I screamed at him and followed him for blocks yelling things such as”STOP SHITTING ON MY DOOR”, WHY DO YOU SHIT ON MY DOOR”. “HEY, EVERYBODY LOOK, THIS MAN SHITS ON MY DOOR”, Etc. Needless to say he was freaked out.
Jordy told EV Grieve that he has not received help despite calling 311 and 911. At least now you know what to do if you see a man shitting in the neighborhood. You know, other than run.