Knocking on reality TV is like kicking a kid with crutches, but sometimes that kid with crutches begs to be kicked. Which brings us to another one of those open casting calls out there in the trades, the ones with the shady Gmail address contact info and the thinly veiled condescension for the people who use it. Far more ridiculous than a show about fat sex or inkslinging competitions, we now have Full Metal Jousting! For this back-channel spectacular, HISTORY is seeking experienced horseback riders who openly “possess the bravery of a warrior,” which means they’re searching for the sort of humans who’ve actually gazed upon themselves and thought, I could totally kick Geronimo’s ass. Oh, right and these people spend their summer days clicking through casting calls, but then again, of course they do.
By all means:
Casting Call: HISTORY and the producers of Top Shot and The Ultimate Fighter seek tough and brave people for its new competition series, Full Metal Jousting. If you are a skilled horseback rider and possess the bravery of a warrior, the show is looking for you. The show will teach you how to joust and the best jouster has the chance to win $100,000. To apply, send an email by the July 20, 2011 deadline to: FullMetalJousting@gmail.com and include your name, phone number, a recent photo and a brief description of why you think you can be HISTORY’S Full-Metal Jouster.
Note that this is all for “a chance to win $100,000.” But hey, if you’re brave as a warrior, you have no fear LARPing on TV for the chance to buy a fixer-upper in Des Moines, right?