The Four Weirdest Things I Ever Ate


I’m not really zany enough to be a regular on Freaky Eaters, but there’s no doubt that my palate is as adventurous as my stomach is made of cast iron.

Maybe I could be an occasional guest star.

Anyway, here are my four weirdest edibles of all time.

(4) Ostrich burgers

My auntie Anita was nice enough to get me these, and they were, let’s say, interesting in a fascinating kind of offbeat and unusual way, but I kept thinking about a large bird running in circles and crapping itself.

It was too bizarre to feel like I was biting into the Discovery Channel more than the Food Channel.

I’m so boring, I went back to plain old cow burgers pronto.

(3) Chicken hearts

This was at an amazing Brazilian steakhouse in Florida, where they bring you all kinds of meats on skewers until you die. (The key at these joints is to skip the initial meats they bring around and to pace yourself so you don’t suffocate.)

The chicken hearts were actually the best thing they served — tender, tasty, and absolutely pumpin’. A real blood feast.

(2) Roasted bone marrow

I was served this at an otherwise delightful restaurant tasting, and as I’ve described here before, this particular delicacy was way too Flintstones for my taste. It felt like picking at a dead pterodactyl.

And the wackiest of all…

(1) Carrot ices

It wasn’t billed as such, but that’s basically what it was (with some cardamom and coconut thrown in).

It tasted like something that was thrown out in an alleyway and froze to death.

Smashing the stuff into cold carrot soup made it look different, but it didn’t taste any less ghastly.

Anyway, you?