Pardoned Cow Will Retire in the Catskills


A cow that managed to escape the confines of what must have been a not-fun-at-all slaughterhouse in suburban Philadelphia has been given a pardon by Governor Tom Corbett’s office. Kayli, the cow, had broken free while being loaded into a holding pen at the butcher’s. In the chaos that followed, she ran into a car, causing minor damage, was lassoed by a slaughterhouse employee, and was quarantined for two weeks at a veterinary clinic. Now she will spend her days in the Catskills, preparing for a risque dance competition, falling in love, and scandalizing her father with her attempts to help a pregnant cow. Or she’ll just chew her cud and have a grand old time with a bunch of other farm animals who were daring enough to break free from the chains of humans and are probably plotting to overtake them completely some day. Nobody puts Kayli in a corner. [NBC NY/AP]