, what’s so bad about an Apple store at Grand Central Station? Apple stores, it seems are wonderful, open-minded, happy places, where anything can happen, and frequently does. Not only will the people who work there generally at least attempt to help you cope with the fact that you’ve ruined yet another laptop by spilling a Corona on it and then passing out, but also, they will let you do whatever you want, and embrace you as you do it! (Metaphorically.) Comedian Mark Malkoff, he of racing-a-bus-on-a-Big-Wheel fame, set out to prove it.
In this clip, Malkoff orders a pizza and has it delivered to the Apple Store. No one minds; in fact, they think it’s awesome. He also goes on a date (employees draw the line at dimming the lights for romance), arrives dressed as Darth Vader for help with a broken iPhone, admits to once having had a hotmail account, and brings along his pet goat. He is not kicked out. He is barely even looked at funny.
From this we can draw the following: a) No one notices Mark Malkoff. b) Apple stores are wonderful, magical, giving places. c) Everyone except the goat was stoned. d) Your laptop is a goner. e) The goat was stoned.