The Wall Street Journal has declared that the city’s “best summer job” goes by the name of “tanning concierge.” Okay, so what the hell is that? When we hear “tanning concierge,” we think of someone sitting at a desk under neon lighting in some tanning bed salon, drearily checking in the Snookis of the world as they prepare to get orange. But no, being “tanning concierge” is apparently a lot more glamorous. Read on.
Harrison Anastasio, the lucky high schooler who has this job, is tasked with letting sunbathers who frequent the rooftop pool of the James New York Hotel know when it is time to turn over and give themselves skin cancer on the other sides of their bodies. Usually he texts them. It’s like cooking a steak that has the power of motion.
But, industrious kids, don’t go into every swanky hotel with a rooftop pool asking to be their “tanning concierge” because people might give you the same WTF look we gave the computer when we saw this story’s headline. The Journal explains that the job was created this year by the James and a sunscreen maker. (The W in Scottsdale, Arizona has something of the same name, though their duties seem to be more exhaustive when it comes to browning. The Scottsdale concierges are “available 24/7 to talk all things SPF with guests while on property or when packing for their Arizona getaway.” That’s dedication.)
But back to NYC: pretty people give Anastasio their cell phone numbers!
And so it is that this Cobble Hill teen has a phone filled with the numbers of the sorts of beautiful women (and men) who frequent rooftop pools.
To quote Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility. And Anastasio maintains that he resists temptation.
Wait. So his job is comparable to Spider-Man’s? He should get a name that’s better than “tanning concierge.”