Debt Deal a “Sugar-Coated Satan Sandwich,” Says Congressman


After a night of looking at the debt agreement deal, Democratic leaders and pundits are coming to terms with its right-leaning slant. Despite this, it will still probably pass today. President Obama said that this isn’t the deal he would have preferred. Without new tax revenues, many lawmakers feel that this legislation will sap the life out of government programs and hurt the middle and lower classes. Missouri Congressman Emanuel Cleaver II said it most eloquently, however, when he tweeted that the deal is a “sugar-coated satan sandwich.

Others were calmer in their assessment. John Kerry said, “I think not having revenues is a mistake, but it may be all we can do at this point.” Nancy Pelosi shrugged, “I look forward to reviewing the legislation with my caucus to see what level of support we can provide.”

This very meekness is responsible for the debt default bill. Everyone is so pleased that we avoided economic catastrophe, the adverse long-term effects of this deal are seen as little more than necessary collateral. If more lawmakers were like Emanuel Cleaver, maybe we wouldn’t be plugging our noses and swallowing this Satan sandwich.

In our bid to help, we have compiled a list of other culinary terms for this bill that members of Congress can use, free of charge:

  • “Smegma-stuffed Judas burrito”
  • “Urine-soaked Lucifer lollipop”
  • “Guano-smeared boneless Mussolini buffalo wings”
  • “The Arch Deluxe”
  • “Poop soufflé with an owl pellet garnish (baby bird bones included)”

Debt Deal Emerging With Rightward Tilt [Roll Call]