Gift Bags Ain’t What They Used To Be!


One of the many joys of going to a party used to be leaving with a gift bag filled with sumptuous products to fill the days of your life with.

It wasn’t all amazing. In fact, after every event I used to go right to the garbage pail on the corner and toss out the lesser stuff, like T-shirts, skin creams, beauty magazines, and self-produced dance CDs.

But still, there were so many choices in each bag that you felt like a lucky leprechaun who’d been handed a pot of gold just because you’d shown up and taken advantage of their open bar and photo ops.

I’ll never forget the designer’s gift bag that featured an expensive ladies’ watch, which I quickly brought home and attached to a “Merry Christmas, Ma” greeting card.

And at other lavish blowouts, the bags included best-selling books, Kiehl’s products, and Yohji Yamamoto antiperspirants that lasted literally a decade. I didn’t smell through the entire ’90s!

But that was then.

The recession must still be carrying on because nowadays you get crap on a shingle minus the crap and the shingle.

In fact, at a celebrity perfume bash last week, they weren’t even giving out samples of the perfume!

Not even those tiny tubes you can get for free at department stores!

And I couldn’t even sniff the stuff in the air!

I know there are probably larger problems in the world, but please, can we end this economic slump so I can leave a party with a better bunch of regifting items?